Therapy or coaching, what a great question. In short, Therapy will help you resolve past trauma. Coaching concentrates in the now and what is happening in your life right this minute. Coaching will give you tools to understand it and do something about it. Understanding roadblocks and managing your daily progress.
Coaching is an investment of money, energy, and time. Is a path of self-exploration and discovery. Learning what drives you, what fears are paralyzing you, and what your future could look like are all intricate but common factors of a good coaching-client partnership. With Coaching, you can learn to regulate your barriers and discover your blind spots. Most often my clients say “I didn’t think I could do this” while growing and discovering the gifts and strengths they had all along. See, coaching is about you and the way you see the world, is about making a plan that is designed to help you with your specific need. If you are feeling stuck, which I hear quite often; then, together, would design a plan that is specific for you and your particular challenges.
Good coaching is collaborative between coach and client and should feel comfortable yet challenging. There is a lot that you can do to get the most out of your coaching sessions, if you are feeling like you might not be making the progress you were envisioning here are some points worthy of mentioning to help you understand what might be happening.
Chose the right coach for you. This requires a good working relationship. A good coach should feel like a good pair of shoes—comfortable, the kind you can walk on for hours. You might want a coach that is very structured or you might prefer someone that can help you identify ways of growing in a more abstract way. Ask questions as you search such as what is your style of coaching? How many people have you helped with similar problems? Is there a particular estimated length of time for my problem?
Show up, be consistent. What you are learning in coaching and the changes that personal growth brings need to be reinforced weekly while trying to achieve maximum results. Coaching without your consistency in attendance, commitment and homework is likely to leave you with half-learned truths. Remember it is normal to think sometimes that you may not be making much progress, this is part of the journey. It is in these moments of doubt but continuing to do hard work that the real growth happens. I cannot say it enough, be consistent!
Be honest, open, and vulnerable. There can be a range of reasons why you might find it difficult to be open during coaching. You might doubt the process, you might not understand what will be required of you, you might even be ashamed to share your vulnerability. This is all okay. Coaching is a private process and there are laws that protect your confidentiality. Remember that your coach should be understanding and compassionate as well as nonjudgmental of the information you will share. This goes back to finding a coach that is the right fit for you with the proper education, training, and compassion. Only after you are completely honest and open can the real healing and growing begin.
Use your growth journal. In my practice, I give each client a growth journal. This notebook is given for several reasons. The journal will facilitate notes during our sessions such as goals, inspiration, and insight. It will also assist in completing homework assignments that again need consistency. The journal will also provide you with a good timeline for growth. Often my clients read the first few pages of our early sessions and are encouraged to see how much they have grown in a short period of time. Journal, do it weekly, do your assignments this is all part of the growth and healing journey.
Participate in your plan. Coaching is all about the client being centered in their growth, after all, they are the experts in their own lives. Give your coach feedback and be honest about what the assignments are like. What barriers are you encountering, what blind spots have you discovered? But most importantly, what is working and what is not. Remember you and your coach are a partnership and you must voice your concerns as well as what is working well.
Try your best to practice what you are learning. When you leave the coaching office, take some time to think and process what just happened. What did you learn? What will be the most difficult part about implementing the task ahead? How can you put this into motion? Practice all that you learn. I tell my clients often that they have become experts at doing something that is not working for them. They practice a harmful behavior until it becomes second nature. Now we must become experts in healing behavior until they become second nature. This requires consistency, follow-up, and most of all practice.
Trust yourself, your coach, and the process. Your coach wants to help you; however, this is not a cookie-cutter process. If things are not working out the way you were hoping for, give your coach feedback so the plan can be adjusted to fit your needs. Be present in your healing, honor your InnerShe.